Newark, NJ to Hong Kong, China

Hey friends....it's been a while since I've blogged, but I had a few people ask me if I could try to keep them up on how things are going in China by blogging, so I'm going to try.  I am sitting in the Hong Kong airport waiting 10 hours for a connecting flight.  My first flight (newark to hong kong) was pretty good. It was a 15.5 hour flight, and after a while it did feel that long. I remember saying to the person next to me, we are only half way to China. The flight wasn't too rough, there was about 20 minutes where I thought we might crash and die, and I wanted to hold the hand of the man next to me, but we were all okay, just a lot of clouds and turbulence.  The movies on the plane were all pretty good, but I would get about 15 minutes into them and fall asleep. I am so excited to get to the orphanage in Fuzhou I just can't wait!  I want to be awake and not sleepy, so I'm sleeping every chance I get.  Being in the airport alone is a little scary, but I'm around a bunch of people (some speak english) and I'm just hanging out.  Oh, I got through immigration and customs with no problems  :-)  In about 5 hours I will recheck my bags and wait 2 more hours and head to Fuzhou, my final destination for the next two weeks.  I am thinking of all the kids I get to work with and for the staff too. Please join with me in your thoughts  for everyone I get to work with!!  Well, this is a pretty boring blog, but it's just to let everyone know I got to China safely and I'm feeling very excited for all that Dad is going to do while I am here!!  :-)

raw and transparent thoughts from 3am

As most of the world is sleeping, I am consumed in thoughts at 3am...thoughts that have plagued my mind for the last week or so keeping me up at night. I'd like to blame the caffeine, but this goes beyond caffeine. Luckily, I'm not working yet this week, so I can try and sleep in. I wanted to share with the blogger world(and facebook) the thoughts on my heart because I'm sure many other's have felt this way too, and just don't express it...So, where do I start(bear with me, this will be long, but please try to read it all) I've been back from Brazil for a few months now(a shock to some of you) and I saw some pretty horrific things in Brazil. I mean children on the streets in prostitution simply because they have no family or their family sold them into prostitution. Women and men(some only 18) selling their bodies every night, sometimes 10 times a night because they think thats all their worth, they have no value for their lives, no dream or vision. Men and women living in the streets, homeless, because that's what they think they deserve. Then there was the favela's, my favorite place, but still full of poverty. The pictures of poverty I've seen, I can't even put into words, but let's face it, it's not just in Brazil, it's in the United States too...it's all over the world...scary fact, just recently an undercover underage pornography ring was broken up(and by underage, I mean children 12 and younger) and 80% of the people involved were from the United States! And there is poverty all around us in the United States too, mother's struggling to put food on the table, elderly hanging on for life because they can't visit a doctor(YES I know there are systems to help here in the US, but all systems have flaws)...and what are we doing as the body of Christ to help all these people? Sometimes, especially recently, I am overwhelmed by everything around me. I just want to help everyone...but...I've realized I can't help anyone until I've come to know my identity in Christ. I need to stop worrying about how the world see's me and focus on how God see's me. But, even if I don't understand this, and actually believe it, God is still going work through me. I saw a lot of this while I was in Brazil, I could be completely doubting God and if He's even there, but praying for a man, and he's completely healed! Because, God works all things for His glory! And even amidst my doubt and frustration, God was still going to work! The thing I've been struggling with the last week or so is, how can God love me when I am such a sinful person(things I can't even confess in this blog) BUT...that sin is NOT what defines me! And I am drenched in grace (thanks Jamie for the reminder!) This means that NO MATTER WHAT I do, God is still chasing after me!! He wants me to be free...you see sin is what ties us down, puts us in bondage, makes us feel like God shouldn't love us, but that's a lie from Hell, and the enemy(the devil) wants us to believe that we are filthy, consumed by sin, and God will never love us, the devil is the master of all lies, and his sole purpose is to bring us away from God. But, what I've learned in the last week(although I think God has been trying to tell me this for a while, so I better remember it) is that God will leave the 99 to save the 1...God came for the sick, not the healthy...God will do ANYTHING(yes that means keeping me up every night until 2:00am) to try and draw us to a closer relationship with Him. I've learned that I will never understand God's mysteries(thats Biblical, look it up, God is a mysterious God) and that God is appalled at the lack of true love in this world just as much as I am, if not more! So, I think I'm finishing this(for now) but what I know is God loves me, and no matter what kind of day I'm having, or what's going on in my life God still loves me, and I need to demonstrate and show that love to EVERYONE around me(sometimes in actions and not even using words)! So hopefully now I can sleep...(please leave me a comment, or message me if you read this, or if you have any questions, or prayer requests)

Beyond words...

Last night was my last night on the streets in Curitiba, Brazil. It was definitely a heart breaking time. I pray I am able to come back again September...but last night was special...it was beyond words, a night I will never forget. I was able to give some clothes and a blanket to my homeless friend Jair...The smile on his face after receiving a gift is something that will never disappear from my mind...I met another man named John. His story was similar to the many people who live on the streets...his mom died and he was placed in an orphanage by his father, He left the orphanage to live on the streets. He told us that his dad was abusive towards him beating him with belts and shoes...he held a lot of un-forgivness towards his dad, especially for placing him in an orphanage. We were able to talk with him for over an hour and tell him we were sorry that his dad didn't see his true value, but that he was loved by us and by God, it was a lot of him to take in, he was pretty speechless. By the end of the night he said that everyday is a new beginning and he needed to go forward with his life, I will continue to pray he knows he is loved and valued. You see the biggest problem I've seen in Brazil is not homelessness or prostitution, it's the lack of true identity...it's the lack of true love....most of my friends I've meet just don't know how valuable they are, that they are a beloved child of God, and no matter where they are at, God always loves them! Last night was so unforgettable, I prayed for John to be healed...from what I could understand from my translator was that he had polio when he was a child, so he had lots of pain in his feet and hands. I simply prayed for God to fill him with His love and take away all the pain, at the end of the prayer, he said he felt something pop and he had no more pain! I was astounded...this was the first time I prayed with someone and they were instantly healed...it was amazing...beyond words...I've truly been changed by my time here in Brazil...I pray that as I go back to the states I continue to grow with a passion to show God's love to EVERYONE...I thank each and everyone of you for reading this blog...I will probably post a few more blogs to come...please know that you too are sooooo loved, I pray for each person who reads this(even if you don't comment) Thanks for reading this and thanks for all your prayers!!

She just needs a friend and a lighter

Well...it has taken me a bit of time to get back to writing, I'm sorry, there is just so many good things happening it's overwhelming, I have a lot I want to tell everyone, but first I'm just going to write about Easter.

Easter was very difficult for me, I am so used to going to church like 3 times that week and talking all about Jesus's death and resurrection. I didn't go to church on Thursday, Friday or Sunday. This is the first year I didn't go to church on Easter, and did I feel like a terrible Christian...NO!! I have come to realize that many things we celebrate in the US are very wonderful, I mean celebrating that Jesus IS alive after he was brutally killed is wonderful, but it is something that can happen in our hearts too. It doesn't need to be this BIG show and presentation where people are crying and then happy, it can be in our hearts. Wow, I feel like that sounded terrible, so I'll explain a bit. I was always used to going to church during the Easter season, it's just like it was a routine for me, I learned that in not going to church on Easter I forced myself to have to think about what God did for ME, without some pastor telling me all about it. It forced me to actually think about what it felt like for Jesus to be betrayed, beaten, and then die....but to soon be alive again, it forced me to think what was it like those three days he wasn't on the earth, what did the disciples feel like when their leader left them...it forced me to really think about what I've been taught and what I believe, it was a great lesson for me. (The gospel of Jesus is crazy, it is radical...but I know and understand that I believe in a radical God....He is mysterious...and I love him...) Now, in no way am I saying I am going to stop going to church and think about God because I do enjoy church, but it definitely gave me a new perspective. On Easter we did have a big meal of ham, potatoes and sweet potato casserole, which was good, but obviously a lot different than in the US. We invited two prostitute friends to our home for Easter dinner....Mara and Danielle. We didn't have a big service, but we did have some worship music with Nic. Danielle and Mara really like Nic and Rachael's worship music(I do too) and they understand a little bit of it. I've really learned that words don't matter, it' s the actions, how do we SHOW God's love without without words, but in actions. I just love to smile when I'm with them, I think that smiling shows them I am full of joy. In everything I do, I try to show that I know God loves me, even when I'm washing the dishes :-) I don't understand everything theses woman were saying to me, but I listen to them. I had a moment where I was so confused because Danielle and Mara asked me to come outside with them so they could smoke a cigarette, but they needed a lighter, and I didn't have one, but I finally understood what they were asking me for and I found someone with a lighter. I learned in those few moments while they were smoking that all they needed was a friend and a lighter. These women are so used to acting, they are not themselves while they are working, all they wanted from me was friendship and a lighter. I've learned in my time here that I can't just expect them to jump at the chance to know God's love, but I can always show it to them, and continue to pray that they want God's love. These woman think so negatively of themselves, they don't even think they deserve for God to love them, but God looks at them with love in his eyes. God see's every sin the same, so lying, stealing, cheating and being a prostitute are all the same in God's eyes. I was so blessed to spend Easter with Danielle and Mara and I am continuing to pray for them. My challenge to anyone who reads this is to share God's love with someone without using words, how are you going to do that...and if you can't share His love because you don't have it yourself, thats okay...do something nice for someone, just a small act of kindness...I mean even if we aren't believers shouldn't we be trying to do nice things for other people anyways. Thanks again for reading this, it was a bit of a ramble, but there is a lot on my heart right now and a lot in my head....

Daughters of the King

So I got some strange "flea" bites, and they won't stop itching! They are so red and itchy...I asked another team member if she had hydrocortisone cream and her reply was "No, but if you spit on them, it will stop the itching" So because I trusted this team member, I tried it out, and it did seem to work, but I found out she had made that up. There are some things I miss about the US...one thing is hydrocortisone cream LOL...so anyways on Saturday night we had a prostitute come over to our home with her two children...here is a bit of her story...Her name is Danielle...she became pregnant when she was 13, she and her mother(her father was dead) were not able to support the baby, so while she was pregnant she became a prostitute, at 13, she felt like there was no other way to support herself and her child. Her words to us were "I wasn't harming anyone else, just myself, I mean the worst that could happen was I would get a disease" It was just completely heartbreaking to hear her say this, we reassured her that she is better and worth more than to be in prostitution. She has one other little girl who is 5, so a 10 year old and a 5 year old, and she is still in prostitution, but God is getting her heart, and we are loving her with His love. She has someone care for her children, that she pays, because she needs to try and rest during the day so that she can work at night. Both of her children have no father, one was shot to death over drugs and another is a thief and cannot be trusted with his daughter. You see the common problem in Brazil is not prostitution it's fatherlessness....60% of the people here do not have a father living with them. Danielle got into prostitution because she felt like there was nothing else for her, she wanted to be able to support her daughter and at 13, you really can't get a job, she also doesn't have much education. Danielle is a precious daughter of God, and we love her so much. We are praying she is able to get off of the streets and follow the passions and desires of her heart. We are giving her God's love, she doesn't even have value or purpose in Her life, she sees herself as worthless, it is just heartbreaking....her daughters have no daddy(of course on Earth, they have an amazing Heavenly Father) I was helping the 5 year old(amanda) ride a bike, and it just tore my heart apart that she has no daddy to help her learn this, I had so much fun playing with Amanda and Brenda(her 10 year old daughter) and I pray for them all daily. I know that prostitution is not right, God does not want that for Danielle's life or anyone's life...I look at her with the Father's eyes, I look at her with love, and I pray she is able to come off of the streets and show her girls and others that there is Hope, and there is more in life...that she is a daughter of God and He has special plans for her life. Please pray for Danielle, Amanda and Brenda with me, they are three daughters of God...thanks again for reading this...and for all your prayers...

Don't flush the toilet paper

There are many cultural differences that I am continuing to learn while I spend time here in Brazil...one that I always seem to forget is...don't flush the toilet paper, no place it nicely in the trash can placed conveniently next to the toilet...not fun, but when you try to flush it, it doesn't flush and then everyone knows an American used the toilet LOL...when washing dishes you will not dry them, just put them on the drying rack or shake them violently...when washing clothes(which I REALLY need to do) you will not dry them in a dryer, you put them out on a line and pray it doesn't rain...every day at lunch you will eat rice and beans with some sort of vegetable(I only eat it like once or twice a week)...you will not eat peanut butter and jelly because peanut butter is only imported and it costs an arm and a leg...ketchup tastes different, and isn't as good as American ketchup(heintz 57)...there is no diet pepsi(which I miss)...when driving on the streets in Brazil you make up your own traffic laws...and even if a police officer pulls up behind you with his lights on(I haven't seen a female cop yet) you are NOT being pulled over, only if they put on their siren...you drive in kilometers, not miles...you measure food in milliliters or liters...after midnight you do not have to follow stop lights, you are allowed to drive through them(without even looking!!)...of course the language is different....hmmm...I'm trying to think of other cultural differences...prostitution is legal...so that brings me to something VERY exciting...two transvestites came to our new house last weekend, it was so much fun just hanging out with them. They asked a lot of questions about the US(like is prostitution legal) the surgeries here to changes a person's body isn't as expensive as the US, so many men will have surgery to become a woman, I will never understand this, but I will always love them, because God has called all Christians to love the least of these, no one loves these people, they are so lost and confused they don't know their identity...the churches have completely rejected them...we hung out with the transvestites just like we would our friends, did they change over night-no, of course not...but I am praying they see the Father in and through my life :-) They see God in me...and ask questions and want to know more of God...I'm sorry that this post has been all over the place....I have a personal request...that everyone would think and pray for me...in the next week I need to make some BIG decisions on how long I want to stay here in Brazil and what I will do this Summer...I really need financial support to stay in Brazil, so check out http://www.shoresofgrace.com/about-us/ministry-staff/winnie-moyer and click on the bottom of my bio if you are able to donate....in no way am I saying you have to send me money...but I really want to continue what God is doing here, and that takes money...thanks again for reading all this...I pray for everyone who reads this and comments ;-)

culture shock

Culture shock seems to be a thing of the past...Praise God...every once and a while I have my moments, but it is much better than before. So, last week was a BIG week...our team leader and his wife(nic and rachael) had their baby girl (on Monday.) Rachael was very sick, and almost died, she lost 6 liters of blood...but thank God she is okay...it is a miracle she is alive...our God is so faithful! While they were having a baby our team was moving to a new house. We are very thankful for this new home. It is closer to the school and closer to the city(which means closer to every thing like grocery stores and humans LOL) It is not as secluded as the last place, and it is HOME, we only share it with our Shores of Grace team. Please keep our whole team in your prayers as we transition to a new place and as Rachael continues to heal.

So....today I went to the favela church, the place I love the most. I got to see my children and color with them. I was asked to lead the church in communion which was a whole lot different than the US...I was supposed to preach, but this got lost in translation, so maybe next time I will preach. I was very nervous being up in front of the church, it's not where I'm comfortable, but God can do anything in us if we are willing, and I am willing to let Him do anything in me. I just want to serve Him even if some things make me feel uncomfortable, He is teaching me so much, and I truly am believing the scripture that says "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me."

Since I've moved to a new house I have very limited internet access for now. I am enjoying a small break at the mall right now.

I am also praying that as you read my blogs you will pray or think about supporting me financially. I am really not able to share God's love without each and everyone's financial support and also your prayers....so here is a website you can donate so that I can continue to share the love of God with everyone I encounter in Brazil

http://www.shoresofgrace.com/about-us/ministry-staff/winnie-moyer

thank you for reading this....if you have any questions email me at winnie@shoresofgrace.com or you may also send me a facebook message...I look forward to coming back the US and seeing all of you this Summer....but I am very excited about all God is doing right now in and through me in Brazil....